win-win vs win-lose?

There's a lot of business books and traditional business mythology around creating win-win situations. Frankly, I believe in that approach myself and generally take the long view on my work relationships. However, the world is filled with assholes -- and business in particular, seems to give people the license to be even an asshole. One observation that I'd make is that when you take a person who is playing win-win and put them in negotiation with someone committed to a win-lose philosophy --the win-lose operandi wins in the short run much more often than the win-win.
ok -- sorry --that's a mouthful and confusing.
There are times -- when win-win meets win-lose -- and the management team needs to man up (or woman up) and tell the other side that you won't be pushed any further. It's important to draw clear lines of battle in language that the person playing win-lose understands around whatever issue you're facing. The argument doesn't have to result in fisticuffs or a loud argument -- in fact much better if you remain calm and CLEAR -- it's just a matter of drawing a line and not budging any further.

Comments

[Fazal Majid]

This is called the "tit for tat" strategy in game theory. It only works if there is repeat business or a long-term relationship. Not everyone cares about the long-term, unfortunately.

[robertinseattle]

Finally catching up on some of your older posts, Andy. I learned a lot about negotiating many years ago when one of my companies did a deal with a Japanese multinational in the 80's. Being Chinese myself, I focused my team on understanding Japanese culture and business so that we'd have better understanding in our discussions.

The best lesson we learned had to do with the importance of saving face. In other words, wiggle room. And not just for your side but for the other guys as well. Back the other guys into a corner with no room to save face and your deal goes down the drain. Too often, our approach in Western business is that John Wayne win-at-all-costs-take-no-prisoners mentality and it results in that win-lose taste that can linger long after the contract is signed.

A wise VC (yes, there are a few) once told me, "A perfect deal is when the two parties walk out with a deal and they're both a little unhappy."